GENDADS

That’s me.  I went deep this morning following the Wild Goose.  I actually wrote, yes wrote, as in hand writing, in my journal.  It framed my day.  Following the Holy Spirit, known as the Wild Goose by my Celtic forefathers, is both wild and wonderful.  I provide the gray.  Take a visit to my journal and get a short profile of following the Winged and Wonderful Creature  www.newseason.us

My place-holding blog entry is waaay too old.  Good reason, though.  Interesting, but are you interested?  Maybe not, so here’s the nutshell version so’s I can get on with fortifying the bridge so I can cross back over.

I loved blogging.  I loved a whole bunch more in life, too.  Hard to balance.  So, with the major focus being the rite of passage for my olderst grandson behind me, I took the bridge across to “LayLoLand”.  Been helping soninlaw, Matt, get started in his new professional-business-as-ministry, Deep Rives Family Ranch.  MAN! is that exciting.  It’s like passing the baton from our years of ministry to the newer gen better able to handle the peculiarities and demands of current family status in our nation.  DRFR is a whole-family crisis intervention therapy ranch.  Did I get enough words in there to help you figure it out?  It’s finding wonderful response in the therapy community and in the lives of those families Matt is touching.

After a summer at their new ranch site in Colorado (in the mountains above and west of Grand Junction), Carolyn and I are back home in SoCal catching our breath AND setting out on the new stage of priorities: 1) enjoy each other and the remaining life God grants us (see next paragraph), 2) Re-start Generational Fathering (after five months idle) and start with notes for Carolyn’s and my life memior (“Our Extraor dinary Journey:  Stories of Following Jesus Up Mountain Peaks, Through Valleys, and Out of Quick Sand”) 3) continue prayer and marketing support for Deep Rivers Family Ranch, 4) increase our personal witness and serve our Chapel congregation well.

By the way, the above is in the context of my advance prostate cancer.

So, what’s the bridge analogy that require re-crossing?  Life is short (and shorter by each year I enjoy God’s grace), Life is Hard, Life is Unfair, and Its End is Uncertain.  That’s the Engineer’s label on the bridge abuttment.  The bridge has been named the “Finish Well” bridge.  I’m crossing it again with even more enthusisam than what characterizes my life to date.

And I remember daily two motto’s.  One took me into college with faith the my future was in His hands, “‘Tis one life, ’twill so be passed, only what’s done for Christ will last.”  Then the motto on the cornerstone of Wheaton College that sent me out from that wonderful, life-framing institution, “For Christ and His Kingdom”.

Sorry I can’t fancy this up with the normal photo’s and graphics.  I’ve been too long away to remember how. For now, I just want my GenDads pals to know I’ll be back on the keyboards.  Soon grandson #2 will be entering his year of passage.  You’ll get some of those pieces and a bit of my Finish Well Journey.

My personal blog, Wild Gray Goose, has some personal refelction of life, cancer, and serving The One upon Whom all is centered.

For those being intruded on by hackers, I apologize.  I am hiring a smart blogger to fix the problem.  Please be patient.

FIRST, IT WAS THE LORD’S “STILL, SMALL VOICE”(See comment below).

THEN IT WAS THE DEVIL’S TURN…Or was it?  You probably noticed.  I got hacked.  Messed up my rigid plans for the day.  BUT it got me back into this blog.  I’ve been planning that for over a week.   Or is that spelled, “weak?”  I ‘spect I’m being prodded by the Lord to re-enter the blog world as part of the mission to pick up my book writing.  Been away all summer helping son-in-law start his business. It’s actually a ministry of reaching out to families in chaos by way of equine assisted therapy on Deep Rivers Family Ranch.

At the beginning of the summer I wrote:  SUDDENLY, THE LORD WHISPERED LOUDLY…”Take a break, son.”  He was refering to my time on my blog and social media.  He reminded me He wrote His Book, and now I should write mine.

SO FOR MY VISITORS OVER THE FIRST HALF OF OCTOBER:  This is a perfect place for a static page.  It introduces the book and a bit of our life touched, incredibly, by grace uncommon.  Feel free, however, to leave a comment (tap “comments,” above).]

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Per the blog header, the focus  of GenDads is pretty clear.  It’s about “generational fathering,” the concept of promoting multiple generations participation in the fathering challenge.  If the goal is “good and godly” children as lights of hope and righteousness in a darkening future, then the father and the father’s father would be a better set of tools to hammer out that sort of legacy.

One thing is obvious.  Like other “obvious” truths, we need reminding: it’s not the quantity (as in two complementing generations) but the quality of both that will assure the quality of the newest and very challenging generation being molded.

See the cute, happy couple? If the photo is 46 years old, does “happy” continue (even if “cute” is long gone)?  It’s a serious question.  The handsome Navy flyboy has wrinkles, white hair, and a protruding belly now.  But it  is the quality of his life–and his  “Happy Couple” marraige–that determines the quality of imprint “Popi” will have on his grandchidren.

This weekend Sunday service forces this issue.  You see, Carolyn (the still “cute” and obviously better half) and I were asked to share our testimony and given the entire message slot.  We would never have guessed (and still are a bit dazed) the overwhelming event that would become.  It was not the 46 years of walking with God together done in 40 minutes, but the entire week it took for us to forge Our Story from memory and pictures.  Tears, smiles, awed silence and shaking our heads in wonder as we reviewed each segment of the journey.

Reviewing our life under the Utterly Gracious Hand of a Loving God has changed us.  Our life forward will be different.  The “Finishing Well” phase of life  (like a race, a poem, a painting, a landscaping project…heck, like anything of worth) depends what’s been invested, hammered, built, tested, sacrificed (etc., etc.,) in early stages.  We were overwhelmed (I mean that; really, we were swept up in the wonder of it) at the amazing and unearned grace of God to have favored us so.  I type through tears even now.

This could be a very long post.  Or it could stop here.  Or maybe I should hit the “pause” tab for now.  I think over the next couple of days, with writing Generational Fathering highest on my priority list, I’ll take time on GenDads to share the highlights of that journey.  WHY?  Back to the “quality” thing in leaving a legacy imprint on my generations to follow. The quality of God’s grace is never in question.  How we appropriated it–that alone a mystery of unmetited grace–is the essence of how my life (amplified by my still-cute better half) will imprint these six grandchildren I so dearly love.

AND YOU?  HOW WILL THE WORK OF GOD IN YOUR LIFE UP ‘TIL NOW IMPACT YOUR LIFE ONWARD..AND THOSE HE GIVES YOU TO LEAD, INCLUDING THE GENERATIONS TO FOLLOW FORWARD?

FIRST, IT WAS THE LORD’S “STILL, SMALL VOICE“(See comment below).

THEN IT WAS THE DEVIL’S TURN…Or was it?  You probably noticed.  I got hacked.  Messed up my rigid plans for the day.  BUT it got me back into this blog.  I’ve been planning that for over a week.   Or is that spelled, “weak?”  I ‘spect I’m being prodded by the Lord to re-enter the blog world as part of the mission to pick up my book writing.  Been away all summer helping son-in-law start his business. It’s actually a ministry of reaching out to families in chaos by way of equine assisted therapy on Deep Rivers Family Ranch.

SUDDENLY, THE LORD WHISPERED LOUDLY…”Take a break, son.”  He was refering to my time on my blog and social media.  He reminded me He wrote His Book, and now I should write mine.

SO FOR MY VISITORS OVER THE FIRST HALF OF OCTOBER:  This is a perfect place for a static page.  It introduces the book and a bit of our life touched, incredibly, by grace uncommon.  Feel free, however, to leave a comment (tap “comments,” above).]

———————————–

Per the blog header, the focus  of GenDads is pretty clear.  It’s about “generational fathering,” the concept of promoting multiple generations participation in the fathering challenge.  If the goal is “good and godly” children as lights of hope and righteousness in a darkening future, then the father and the father’s father would be a better set of tools to hammer out that sort of legacy.

One thing is obvious.  Like other “obvious” truths, we need reminding: it’s not the quantity (as in two complementing generations) but the quality of both that will assure the quality of the newest and very challenging generation being molded.

See the cute, happy couple? If the photo is 46 years old, does “happy” continue (even if “cute” is long gone)?  It’s a serious question.  The handsome Navy flyboy has wrinkles, white hair, and a protruding belly now.  But it  is the quality of his life–and his  “Happy Couple” marraige–that determines the quality of imprint “Popi” will have on his grandchidren.

This weekend Sunday service forces this issue.  You see, Carolyn (the still “cute” and obviously better half) and I were asked to share our testimony and given the entire message slot.  We would never have guessed (and still are a bit dazed) the overwhelming event that would become.  It was not the 46 years of walking with God together done in 40 minutes, but the entire week it took for us to forge Our Story from memory and pictures.  Tears, smiles, awed silence and shaking our heads in wonder as we reviewed each segment of the journey.

Reviewing our life under the Utterly Gracious Hand of a Loving God has changed us.  Our life forward will be different.  The “Finishing Well” phase of life  (like a race, a poem, a painting, a landscaping project…heck, like anything of worth) depends what’s been invested, hammered, built, tested, sacrificed (etc., etc.,) in early stages.  We were overwhelmed (I mean that; really, we were swept up in the wonder of it) at the amazing and unearned grace of God to have favored us so.  I type through tears even now.

This could be a very long post.  Or it could stop here.  Or maybe I should hit the “pause” tab for now.  I think over the next couple of days, with writing Generational Fathering highest on my priority list, I’ll take time on GenDads to share the highlights of that journey.  WHY?  Back to the “quality” thing in leaving a legacy imprint on my generations to follow. The quality of God’s grace is never in question.  How we appropriated it–that alone a mystery of unmetited grace–is the essence of how my life (amplified by my still-cute better half) will imprint these six grandchildren I so dearly love.

AND YOU?  HOW WILL THE WORK OF GOD IN YOUR LIFE UP ’TIL NOW IMPACT YOUR LIFE ONWARD..AND THOSE HE GIVES YOU TO LEAD, INCLUDING THE GENERATIONS TO FOLLOW FORWARD?

Actually, it’s MY guest post for my comrades over at “Hard Core Christian Men”. Wrote it last week, read it today. I need that reminder of “margin.” I’d better explain.

FLAPPING LIKE CRAZY, JUST NOT GETTING ANYWHERE.

Life was frenetic in my 30’s to 50’s and it suited me. Not so my wife, but, bless her heart, she stuck with it. Yes, I could slow down to read. I’m glad because two books changed my life. Sacred Romance by Curtis and Eldredge set in motion a whole life perspective and deep involvement with the Ransomed Heart gang. Most of you know about Wild at Heart, et. al. So let me tease you with the other book, Margin by Swenson.

You’ll get Dr. Richard Swenson’s theme quickly. But, honestly, you really do need to get his book (or books; several around this theme). This guy said exactly what I needed at just the right moment. It was as if he was God’s mouthpiece. Here it is for me during that hyper-adrenal period:

Gary, you live without margin. Get some. Every day is a page in the story you write for yourself even before you wake, and it goes from one edge to the other, from top to bottom. What if your family had a need? If you even recognized it, where would you stuff it in today’s Big Page? And how about God? You follow Him, right? How does He get a word in edgewise…when there is no edge, no margin. Are you going to give Him a slot a couple of pages away? What if they or He wants to engage you like now?

Problem 1: I was writing my own story, a noble, honorable, godly one. All the while, I knew it was the Lord God I was serving who really had the last word. I was stuffing all the words possible on my life’s page. I was supposed to be living in His Grand Story, the one the Council of the Godhead dreamed up and wrote for me even before they started the clock of time.

Problem 2: I had been writing in HIS margins. His story for me was excellent. Better than mine. By far. And His had wide margins. Gives a chance to put notes, even love notes, here and there. “NB,” Noto bono in God’s handwriting started showing up. His notes change everything.

In regular, less poetic terms, my discovery of margin (the book gives frightening data and examples) was something like, “Slow Down.” Only better. I’d heard that rant almost every day, but zipping about doing good faster than the speed of sound, the words were muffled.

One story closes this teaser. It happened suddenly on one drive from the ranch to town. I drove 45. The speed limit was 55. I usually drove 65 unless I was in a hurry. I was always in a hurry. I actually (this means I am NOT kidding you) saw things on the 15 minute drive (formerly 10 swish-by minutes) I’d never seen…spring flowers, snow still on Pikes Peak, two Elk hanging across the meadow in the tree line. I remember breathing softly when I told God, “Thank you.”

One story more, a bonus. My wife noticed. I have, since, lived a still full life, but I leave plenty of margin. When I got to the laid-back but productive leg of the journey (my indolent neighbors call it “retirement”), I said I only wanted two goals to drive me. (Wow, not 16?!) I wanted to love God more and better and I wanted to love my wife and family more and better. Very, very big margin in that story.

MAY I ASK?
1. WHOSE STORY DO YOU LIVE IN? YOURS OR HIS? HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU?

2. GOT MARGIN?  WHO MOSTLY WRITES IN IT?

Tell us about it.

THEN, HE ASCENDED INTO THE CLOUDS,  BUT DID NOT LEAVE US ALONE.

It’s been a week since the celebration of our Lord’s resurrection. But it’s still fresh in way’s I’ve not experienced before. I think it hangs on for me because of the extraordinary series of events I’ve recited here that capped off my grandson’s Year of Passage.

The connection is legacy. The essence of the story on the Cross and the days that followed is legacy, it’s our biblical heritage of truths and examples passed down through the generations. We sometimes forget the history-changing events that the Gospels identify as Jesus reappears and further touches the life of His disciples (which, by extension, include us). The walk to Emmaus, the prayer meeting with the disciples, the promise of the indwelling Holy Spirit, the announcement of the Great Commission, and the glorious ascension left us direction, left us examples…have I said this yet, “This is divine legacy.”

More

Wild, wild morning and it’s only 0545. I broke my pledge already; the one in which I committed myself to be writing, not blogging and emailing all day.   But a sneaky peek at a blog post of a friend caught my attention. I am posting my response here. Actually on the “more” page.

Is this worth the use of precious posting time and cyber functionality? Yes. Because DEATH, not life, COMES FIRST. Right?

DO WE THINK OFTEN ENOUGH ABOUT DEATH AND THE LIFE THEREAFTER IT ENABLES?

I coulda watched “THE wedding” live. Didn’t, though beginning a new life together is an important bit of life. One must first accept death of the solo-self.

If you only have a few minutes, don’t waste your time reading my thoughts about what it will be like in the cyber world when I’m gone; how will they–or WILL THEY?!–announce and care about my leaving the net?   You can read that in a minute.  Good takeaway.

I want you to go–right now–to my friend’s short post A Pauper In The Court of The King There is a story of death honoring life out of the tornado tragedies (Faithful to the End, A Father’s Sacrifice).

Touching, no? Now you can read my comment about my own consideration about how the cyber world will treat my death (Hey, relax, it’s a long way off. Unless…) and what matters to me about that. It’s short, just click on MORE More

Really, REALLY hard to get this post out. For all the right reasons. If I said “tears” or “thumping heart,” would it make sense? It does to me. And if you’ve been reading or take a few moments now to catch up on the last four or so posts, you’ll get it. It’s about Dads and Sons. Period. See, I’m a dad, sometimes “grand,” sometimes not. Now uncommonly humbled as the observer-participant of my oldest grandson’s Year of, then Week of, then Rite of PASSAGE.

I owe you fans who’ve been so encouraging (and demanding) that I post details of the night in the Big Log Lodge. Mostly you want to know what was said to Taylor and what his response was and how he responded to the questions posed in his wilderness quest.

I will. Soon (this is called a “teaser” in the promo business).

THIS IS THE WOMAN-TO-BE WHO SINGS TO GOD, AND EVERY SONG IS AN ORIGINAL.

We boys rediscoverd this the day before the Big Log Lodge nite. Brooke, somewhere between 8 and 16 years of age, had a tea party. Busy dad, distracted grandfather, harried brother all had to attend. It’s all in the power of the sly roll of the eyes, the hands on the hips. Where did she learn that?! Two neighborhood mothers, a few neighbor girls arrived for tea, cocoa, and crumpets of sorts, and they were all dressed up.

Oh, did I tell you we SERVED? Get the picture? Get the drift? Get the future portended?

Cute, but there’s a sobering summary. Dad is her dad, too. She will marry the man who is most like him. How Matt treats her mother and the other girls is the man who sets the standards and the expectations. How “Popi” treats “Nani” fingures in, too. “Comlementary fathering” is our theme. We both play a role. With today’s longevities, I’ll be there to take part in her Country Cotillion or however it is that her mother and father take her across the threshold of being a captivating woman of modesty, purity, grace, and maturity in Christ.

So, men, this is the sidetrack with purpose. As fathers we model manhood to our girls. If you see that ideal man you may already be praying for as gentle, humble, wise, serving, and mature in the Lord, you’d better be living that model before her…NOW.

THEY DO WHAT THEY SEE: Are you modeling strenth, humility and godliness for her future husband?

THE FROSTING, NOT THE CHOCOLATE,  TAKES THE CAKE

DEAR BELOVED SON BEGAN MATT’S LETTER TO TAYLOR

Tears still brim my eyes as they did most of last night. It was payday for Matt’s week-long–heck, his year-long–investment in the first “child” of his six to step across the adult threshold.

Ten men and their sons, some logging a three-hour drive from the nearest city, circled Taylor in hugely comfy sofas.  Speaking of “huge,’ so did 14 of the most exquisite, awesome, huge Elk and Deer mounts around the huge room glowing in the light and heat of a huge 5-foot fireplace.  Get the picture?  This was not a birthday party of baloons, streamers and cake.

Subscribers and visitor of GENDADS know the build-up over the year and this last week as Taylor Jarvis Pettit trekked through his last year as a child with a remarkable heritage.  Serious Christian parents, both sets of grandparents, alive and otherwise, were “present.”  They stacked the deck; this was an important milestone in a young believer’s journey of  significance in the Kingdom God.

Did I hear you say, “Stop with the teasers already!”  Here’s the problem.  This event was too grand for a mere post.  You’ll have to give me time to write it up.  Here are the elements, though:  Letters from those present and others to far away to attend,  Man-gifts, as each letter was read (more tears well up…those gifts proved the worth of the event and of the man-in-the-making: Taylor’s 12th year man-journey as a slide show on the screen under the hugest of the Elk giants, Matt recalling the year in four segments dotted with skits and video excerpts of Brave Heart, Finding Forrester, The Patriot, Kingdom of Heaven, Scriptures recited and read by the godly men assembled, two love letters (To My Grandson, Be a Man of God and To the Son I So Deeply Love), and cake.  The latter by way of a paper plate and plastic fork on the way out the door at nearly midnight.

Click here to see a little MORE More

TWO OPTIONS TO GUIDE A YOUNG MAN’S JOURNEY.  Godly counsel, or random roadside  directions.

I hope you’re hooked.  I am.  On the importance, the beauty, the wonder of it all.  A quick read of the short post detailing this final week will catch you up quickly.  Of what?  Of a boys passage to manhood; the concept, the year-long journey, the ceremony, the rite. We provide resource links below.

Well, tonight’s the night. The gathering in “the lodge.” It’s the Rite of Passage. Taylor’s dad, Matt, has invited men signficant in his and Taylor’s life to participate. Taylor’s grandfather (that’s me, AKA “Popi”) plays a small, significant role.

This is Matt’s event for Taylor. In fact, this post is in celebration of Matt who, knowing the importance from his catbird seat as a family therapist working with extreme dysfunctions, has put time, sacrifice (did you read about his freezing all-nighter on watch in the forest?) and, mostly, heart into this entire “year of passage.” That’s quite a sentence. It’s been quite a year.

Matt took this week off. Focus is on Taylor, most of it subtly. Tonight’s ceremony is like plucking the fruit at just the right time. Serious Christian men from afar have mailed in testimonial “manhood letters”. Movie clips, like a micro Ransomed Heart boot camp, with several themes played out. Skits will bring laughs and reflection. Then there are the symbols. The sword? Nope, that’s for the extension down the road, maybe 16? But, I can’t tell you what dad is bequething to Taylor, “T” does read these posts.  I’ll post tomorrow to reveal all.

I can tell you grandfather’s gift. It’s the crest pin (goes somewhere on the kilt, but I don’t wear one) for the Cameroon clan and the story of how “Taillier of the Black Ax,” the bastard son of Don Cameroon, turned a bad start in life to such a heroic status he was granted his own clan…yes, we “Taylors” are proud Scotsmen.

Matt did not do this alone. Mom, daughter Cari, sometimes reluctantly, supported dangerous ice climing, the five day wilderness hike (with Popi), the pair’s trips to God-knows-where. Then there’s Popi. I write about it, but I’m not the star. In fact our book, Generational Fathering, is about dads’ sacrificial investment and granddads’ supportive “complimentary fathering.” It’s a two-man team; one coach, THE (Heavenly) FATHER; one star, the dad; one ball-passer, the generational father with a playbook of regrets, joys, insights, and a few winning strategies.

May I offer some resources? Got your interest dad, mom, granddad?  Start with Bret Stephenson’s, From Boys to Men, It’s the WHY. Then we loved the classic, Raising Modern Day Knights, the WHAT of making noblemen, updated by grandfather Robert Lewis. In the final stages, we leaned heavily on our friend, Brian Molitar. We’re using his book, Boy’s Passage, Man’s Journey, heavily tonight. Kevin Miles has a comprehensive sweep leading to a father/son journey together in a downloadable, Passage to Manhood.

And, if you just can’t help yourself, Generational Fathering will tell you what Matt and I are writing in our spare time (riiiiight!).

TODAY’S QUESTION: Dad, mom, granddad, grandmom, uncle, son, daughter, good friend of a lad, are you willing to explore these resources to become part of the solution of our fatherless generation?