THE BOY TO MAN CEREMONY AT THE LODGE
Apr 16
Character, Christianity, Dads and Fathering, Legacy, Rites of Passage fathering, heritage, legacy, parenting, Rite of Passage 9 Comments
THE FROSTING, NOT THE CHOCOLATE, TAKES THE CAKE
DEAR BELOVED SON BEGAN MATT’S LETTER TO TAYLOR
Tears still brim my eyes as they did most of last night. It was payday for Matt’s week-long–heck, his year-long–investment in the first “child” of his six to step across the adult threshold.
Ten men and their sons, some logging a three-hour drive from the nearest city, circled Taylor in hugely comfy sofas. Speaking of “huge,’ so did 14 of the most exquisite, awesome, huge Elk and Deer mounts around the huge room glowing in the light and heat of a huge 5-foot fireplace. Get the picture? This was not a birthday party of baloons, streamers and cake.
Subscribers and visitor of GENDADS know the build-up over the year and this last week as Taylor Jarvis Pettit trekked through his last year as a child with a remarkable heritage. Serious Christian parents, both sets of grandparents, alive and otherwise, were “present.” They stacked the deck; this was an important milestone in a young believer’s journey of significance in the Kingdom God.
Did I hear you say, “Stop with the teasers already!” Here’s the problem. This event was too grand for a mere post. You’ll have to give me time to write it up. Here are the elements, though: Letters from those present and others to far away to attend, Man-gifts, as each letter was read (more tears well up…those gifts proved the worth of the event and of the man-in-the-making: Taylor’s 12th year man-journey as a slide show on the screen under the hugest of the Elk giants, Matt recalling the year in four segments dotted with skits and video excerpts of Brave Heart, Finding Forrester, The Patriot, Kingdom of Heaven, Scriptures recited and read by the godly men assembled, two love letters (To My Grandson, Be a Man of God and To the Son I So Deeply Love), and cake. The latter by way of a paper plate and plastic fork on the way out the door at nearly midnight.
Click here to see a little MORE See? Too much. This would have to be a chapter of the book. And so it shall be. You’ll have to wait while Matt and Popi finish Generational Fathering.
I forgot the crowning event; it was a surprise to all except Mom who showed up at the end with a broom and an apron. “Cutting the Apron Strings,” was a hilarious play in one very short act. She looped a rope around her oldest “little cowboy,” tied it to her apron strings. As she swept, she commanded Taylor to clean the stalls, change the oil, do his manly tasks…’ceptn he was tied to her. Finally, Dad stepped in with a Leatherman (ranchers knife tool), cut the flimsy strings and hauled him off. This is the modern cowboy version of the tribal ceremonies depicted in From Boys to Men by Stephenson.
There you are. Almost 500 words and you don’t know the sentiments, connection between letters and gifts, or Taylor’s response. This you do know: One young man has left the nurturing nest to make his way (under full fellowship and guidance of other good men) in a world that promises to be darker and needing good and godly men to lead the way.
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Apr 16, 2011 @ 08:34:01
Yes, I have been hooked. I am in awe of Matt. The time, the planning, the love for his first born is something else. If only the rite and ritual were “normal” in our society how much better place it would be. I am confident that Taylor will be the man you and Matt foresee! Thanks for sharing.
Kay
Apr 18, 2011 @ 08:29:16
Awesome efforts. You have done something that will be repeated by Taylor and future generations. Awesome. It is too bad that more boys don’t experience the journey and passage to manhood.
Apr 21, 2011 @ 19:51:48
A bit delayed in responding, Paul. As I said to commenter Judy, I’ve been savoring the experience. And, yes, recycling this cherished and important experience to the generations that cascade from here. In fact, this is the very thing that is motivating my book, Generational Fathering. Let me know if you want a visit post with the Hard Cores.
Apr 19, 2011 @ 14:30:41
Very interesting and sets an excellent example for us Christians in the future.
Apr 20, 2011 @ 10:24:50
Gary,
This is truly awesome. Please give us more details or come post on LD with more.
Lance
Apr 21, 2011 @ 17:28:43
I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, Gary, how deeply moved I am with each posting. I could almost imagine this final part of Taylor’s transition. I remember that such ceremonies, at one time, were not so unusual as they are today. I think you need one separate book just about this special year of milestones, growth and paternal love and guidance for a young man. You and Matt have set an example for all to follow and now THE book is needed to guide otheres to this new ceremony in the lives of our sons.
Thanks so much for sharing, Gary (and Matt and Taylor).
Apr 23, 2011 @ 08:18:21
You, my friend, are a true friend. You say good things to encourage. Few do that. When you need to say “bad” things by calling us on our stuff, can we count on you to do that, too?
Apr 22, 2011 @ 08:47:23
Gary, this is awesome and something I would wish for my grandson who turns 12 in August. This sounds so much like you and I applaud you for it.
Apr 23, 2011 @ 08:09:59
Thanks for the affirmation, Jerry. Memories of all of us herding our kids and keeping the ministry functioning at top form was a challenge. God’s serendipity accounts for both Cari and Darick turning out well. Darick’s turnabout just before his death is quite a story and proves His Grace and Sovereignty. Let’s stay in touch.