GENDADS

['Twer conceive very differently, this Father's Day announcement with the too-cute-by-half  bugling noise.  I got humbled.  My faithful blog mechanizm said it did, but it didn't.  Send you a notice, that is. Two weeks later, working with the email designer, and over my head with other things, I am trying again to send this your way.  WHY (be so bull-headed)?  That's just me.  AND, this is as important an announcement now as it was then.

If you've faithfully tortured your way this far in my whiney intro, you deserve the short version, "TA-Ta--Taaa!" etc. aside.   I took some time to add some old (and new) friends to the subscriber’s list because of the new journey ahead.  If I misjudged your potential interest in following my SHORT Gendads posts as part of writing the book of my head and heart so long delayed, shoot me an "unsubscribe" note at gary@gendads.com. Would love to have you stay onboard with the hope some of you will add examples of generationally significant fathering and maybe even agree to an interview.]  

We’re back to the delayed original:  Bugling…might be reveille, the military wake up call. Could be my favorite sound in the wild, a wapiti, a bull Elk announcing his presence and, well, his really serious intentions. Really big announcements come with bugling. All of which brings me to this TA-Ta-TAAAAAaaaa!!

That’s me announcing a pivotal event in my life appropriate to FATHER’S DAY.
You see, I got me an editor. And I got me a request from a well-known publisher, too. Think it’s about time the Generational Fathering myth becomes a book?

GENDADs (.com) is about to become what it was originally intended.  Matt, co-author and soninlaw, had wanted this space to be more bloggy instead of a rare intonation from ancient cowboy-philosopher-poet.

Here’s what you’ll be getting from GenDad’s now.  First is “short.”  Revolutionary, eh?  Still provokative, or maybe just a prodding.  Frequent due to the new function.

While I dig deep and do the hard work of the book, and it should take some considerable time, I’ll be less in touch with my “tribe”. But as I finished talking with Matt on the cell in his travels from Denver, this idea struck me.  Hard.

Talking with Matt, I was walking to the arena with 9-(cum 18)-year-old Brooke to keep a promise to train her in the round pen on her horse, Holly.  Dad, the equine master, has been gone.  I am filling in.  This is the essence of Generational Fathering…”co-fathering,” maybe, “partner-fathering.”   Maybe “complementary fathering” is more apt.  Matt is full-up with Deep Rivers Family Ranch and his therapy practice like most dads this age at the crux of their careers.  Six children complicate things.  Alas, “Popi” rides up on a white stallion, white hat, and a golden heart and a deep desire to build and leave a godly legacy.

So?

So, I will be writing (and Matt commenting) as layers of our tightly wrapped lives unfold into stories illustrating our convictions supporting this bold new dimension of fathering in an increasingly fatherless world.  I can take short vignettes out of our lives to keep the stories fresh here in GenDads.  It’s a good way to demonstrate what “complementary fathering” looks like in the canvas of our lives.  I’ve noted four in my pocket pad since wrote this.  Our hope?  Give you on either side of the father/grandfather role some food for thought.

If I am committed to writing three hours a day (many of you are so glad to hear, at last, “FOCUS!”) I can add a short piece, blog style, every few days.   They’ll be way shorter than this transition statement. I use Hootsuite, so some of you will get a Twitter alert, others Facebook, and a bunch of my Deep Rivers Family Ranch connections in Linked In will be able to peek at the progress of our book and of our lives.

Oh, some of you know about the advanced stage of you-know-what and the chemotherapy routine I’m balancing with a “normal” full life.  It’s a motivator.  It’s about time I multi-task despite my wife’s 48 years of doubt.  Dual primary tasks is a good thing.  Leaving a legacy for multiple generations to follow and concentrating on the book as the premier project of this finish-well leg of the journey means no stinkin chemo is going to thwart God’s assignment.

Thanks, alas, for sticking with this last long blog.  Any comments to encourage or re-direct let me know the admin rework worked.

 

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So, what do I do now? Better yet, what would YOU DO? Even better still, what would you BE THINKING, MUSING, PLANNING, PRAYING now?.

I’m cool, even strangely excited, about sitting here in Starbucks waiting for my bone and CT scans. You may know those to be cancer tracking proceedures.

Speaking of “cool,” that’s what everything was last visit. I’d shifted from the Urologist to the Oncologist. Oh-oh. But she said, “You don’t need no stinking chemo.” (Well, maybe not in such street terms). That was two months ago. In six days she sees me again with today’s scans. HMMmmm. NEVER assume. NEVER take God’s gifts and blessing for granted.

Think about this in your own life. Doesn’t have to be cancer, health, or seeking God’s wondrous will. It could be something small. Yesterday is but a taste of tomorrow, and there are no guarantees of healing, even tranquility. Momentum is not a heavenly concept. For those walking with Jesus, who, after all, is the Lord God incarnate, the future is now; it’s how you walk with, trust in, depend on, love Him NOW.

So, do I count on the cancer being held at bay, maybe conquered? Nope. But I do know this, and I pass it on to you. What is, is. And it is He who IS, the “Great I AM.” Count on it. So will I be anxious next Wednesday? Maybe a scosh. Like you, wondering if God wants that loan to go through, that sort of stuff. We get the answer and move on knowing each step, like each moment, belongs to Him and it is He, the Lord God Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth, who treats us to His will at each point.

May I get religious for a moment? (The cowboy lost on a rugged trail and counting on Toffee to carry him home is surely a creationist thanking God for smart horses and His sovereignty). This is too common, so don’t take it for granted, please. Think of it in the context of wild, wild Peter who, recovering from his moral failure was going to conquer the world for his Master:
2 Peter 3:11-13(Msg)Since everything here today might well be gone tomorrow, do you see how essential it is to live a holy life? Daily expect the Day of God, eager for its arrival.

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No, I’m not dying.  Well, yes, I am, but so are you.  I mean my cancer is there, but so am I; healthy, strong, no affects other than the entertaining issues from the femine hormones (prone to hug, spending extra time in Khols, hot flashes).  Still, there is this thing about the path of life.  I, of course, think in terms of “The Trail.’   Many a trail on the back of Toffee (who preceeded me last year into Horse Heaven), many a ride along rich and challenging sections with Matt.  We peel off and head down our own trails, always within shouting distance, always following the Wild Goose, always ready to reign strong and ride hard over to the other’s call.

Along the trail are the cairns (rocks stacked in such a way as to guide the next rider, invaluable when maps, trail markers, and overgrown trails cloud the journey).  We follow some, we leave some.

This is a short post leading to a longer one in my personal blog (this being more a dads and book blog) The Wild Gray Goose.  Before you jump over there ( I recommend you do), I want you to catch a “bottom line” idea.  Saves you all my poetic meanderings.  We ALL need heart–partners.  We need comrades, amigos, saddle mates, partners who will stand beside us for God’s sake and ours.   SEAL Team Six is a TEAM.  And they do their missions in pairs.  I flew with a wingman, never alone in combat.

Life, because of the Fall and subsequent invasions of our lives by the Enemy of Our Souls, is warfare.  We need trusted companions.  The new movie, Act of Valor (active duty SEALs as “actors”), will emboss that on your psyche.  Ephesians 6:12 will take your understand where it ought to go…the battle is in the heavenlies but touches down in our lives sometimes subtly, sometime dramatically.  The battle is not ours, it’s His.  Our heart/life/trail mates are cruicial.

Oh, one note more.  My grandsons (and soon the granddaughters) are being conditioned to the trail ahead and its difficult sections.  Through Matt and I (the team, co-fathering theme again) taking them up to and through a rite of passage; boot camp for those who would ride and fight well…but never alone.  We provide two generations of savvy companionship.  And when I go, Matt and each of them will repeat the cycle; a legacy of preparing for the long ride on life’s trail and the battles and joys thereupon, one cairn followed by another.

And now, you’ll better understand the meaning of my view of the trail in The Wild Gray Goose.

 

 

 

 

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FIRST, IT WAS THE LORD’S “STILL, SMALL VOICE“(See comment below).

THEN IT WAS THE DEVIL’S TURN…Or was it?  You probably noticed.  I got hacked.  Messed up my rigid plans for the day.  BUT it got me back into this blog.  I’ve been planning that for over a week.   Or is that spelled, “weak?”  I ‘spect I’m being prodded by the Lord to re-enter the blog world as part of the mission to pick up my book writing.  Been away all summer helping son-in-law start his business. It’s actually a ministry of reaching out to families in chaos by way of equine assisted therapy on Deep Rivers Family Ranch.

SUDDENLY, THE LORD WHISPERED LOUDLY…”Take a break, son.”  He was refering to my time on my blog and social media.  He reminded me He wrote His Book, and now I should write mine.

SO FOR MY VISITORS OVER THE FIRST HALF OF OCTOBER:  This is a perfect place for a static page.  It introduces the book and a bit of our life touched, incredibly, by grace uncommon.  Feel free, however, to leave a comment (tap “comments,” above).]

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Per the blog header, the focus  of GenDads is pretty clear.  It’s about “generational fathering,” the concept of promoting multiple generations participation in the fathering challenge.  If the goal is “good and godly” children as lights of hope and righteousness in a darkening future, then the father and the father’s father would be a better set of tools to hammer out that sort of legacy.

One thing is obvious.  Like other “obvious” truths, we need reminding: it’s not the quantity (as in two complementing generations) but the quality of both that will assure the quality of the newest and very challenging generation being molded.

See the cute, happy couple? If the photo is 46 years old, does “happy” continue (even if “cute” is long gone)?  It’s a serious question.  The handsome Navy flyboy has wrinkles, white hair, and a protruding belly now.  But it  is the quality of his life–and his  “Happy Couple” marraige–that determines the quality of imprint “Popi” will have on his grandchidren.

This weekend Sunday service forces this issue.  You see, Carolyn (the still “cute” and obviously better half) and I were asked to share our testimony and given the entire message slot.  We would never have guessed (and still are a bit dazed) the overwhelming event that would become.  It was not the 46 years of walking with God together done in 40 minutes, but the entire week it took for us to forge Our Story from memory and pictures.  Tears, smiles, awed silence and shaking our heads in wonder as we reviewed each segment of the journey.

Reviewing our life under the Utterly Gracious Hand of a Loving God has changed us.  Our life forward will be different.  The “Finishing Well” phase of life  (like a race, a poem, a painting, a landscaping project…heck, like anything of worth) depends what’s been invested, hammered, built, tested, sacrificed (etc., etc.,) in early stages.  We were overwhelmed (I mean that; really, we were swept up in the wonder of it) at the amazing and unearned grace of God to have favored us so.  I type through tears even now.

This could be a very long post.  Or it could stop here.  Or maybe I should hit the “pause” tab for now.  I think over the next couple of days, with writing Generational Fathering highest on my priority list, I’ll take time on GenDads to share the highlights of that journey.  WHY?  Back to the “quality” thing in leaving a legacy imprint on my generations to follow. The quality of God’s grace is never in question.  How we appropriated it–that alone a mystery of unmetited grace–is the essence of how my life (amplified by my still-cute better half) will imprint these six grandchildren I so dearly love.

AND YOU?  HOW WILL THE WORK OF GOD IN YOUR LIFE UP ’TIL NOW IMPACT YOUR LIFE ONWARD..AND THOSE HE GIVES YOU TO LEAD, INCLUDING THE GENERATIONS TO FOLLOW FORWARD?

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[noto bono: Legacy Dad is a companion blog to GenDads which three of us author. Per previous post we thought it was time to actually meet. That event authenticated the very chapter I was writing for Generational Fathering . Fathering is not the trail and error solo parenting venture we have made into the default standard. It's a team sport, and victory is a long way down the trail. Best we NOT do this alone. Fathering is NOT a game. Too much at stake for the lives of our legacy, our children and grandchildren. Here is a Legacy Dad post after the bonding weekend]

WHAT BETTER THAN THREE HORSES, THREE CIGARS, AND THREE DAD DUDES PASSIONATE OVER THEIR LEGACY.
What an immense pleasure to actually meet up with and embrace my two partners of Legacy Dad. There is an uplifting irony in this. For all the questionable dynamics of the two-dimensional world as seen through the eyes of pre-Internet generations, our blog, Tweets, and FB did a very old fashioned thing; it brought us together. Three lives across a wide spectrum of age, geography, and professions would not have otherwise met. My life would be slightly less rich if we’d not made the original cyber connection. And, it would be a lot less rich if we’d not met on the beach cottage in SoCal.

I think our meeting breathes something important into the lives of fathers today; our own and our dad pals on GenDad and Legacy Dad. Fathering is best done NOT alone. It’s a team sport. Since it’s not about us but about our children, our legacy, pulling out all the stops is the right approach. That includes connecting with other dads. Not so much for the “How To’s” but for the encouragement, for the discussion of bedrock principles, for just not feeling alone and overwhelmed by marriage, work, and parenting.

I’m a grandfather, so my take-away is different. I see the value of elder fathers imprint on current child-raisers. That’s where Generational Fathering (my book in progress) is going. Then there is value of seeing and feeling the joys and conflicts of fully engaged young dads. Refreshing and instructional; I’ve gained insights I can pass along to my own and other young fathers who seek me out.

DAD, MOM(including single’s looking for a dad for their children) ARE YOU WILLING TO SEEK OUT A FATHERING CONNECTION TO MAKE THESE SHORT AND PRECARIOUS PARENTING YEARS GO BETTER?

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There are times in a cowboy’s life where only poetry does justice to the wide open spaces, or the breathtaking wonders, or the hard and rewarding times or…just another day in a routine like riding at night after a blizzzard.   If you think cowboy poetry is a lark, look again at the next one you come across.   Usually goes deep to the heart of humanity and couples the heart with the wonders of a Majestic God of Creation and Redemption.

What’s this about? Well, Matt and I went on a ride last night.  Cigars included.  It’s a tradition.  There he is catching our horses in horizontal snow blow.   We talked about a lot of stuff:  the deer hunt, how the kids are doing and how “complementary fathering” is working for them, and how the marriages are going (am I talking to the husband of my daughter or a therapist?!), about cancer and what a shortened time frame for life means to today’s life. 

And we talked about Matt’s vision for a family therapy ranch.  And we thought about a friend.  So, this morning, I wrote that friend.  Then I realized it was creating a cowboy poetry moment.  Made me think of you friends on this blog.  So, why don’t a share how God winked at us last night.  And He didn’t mind the cigar smoke.

                 HEY, MATT, YOU CATCH ‘EM. SOMEONE HAS TO HOLD THE CAMERA.

HOW GOD WINKED, click here

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